Of course, we all welcomed it in the beginning. It will make your life so much easier, they said. Imagine all the emails you’d spare your inbox and awkward conversations you’d avoid in your coworkers’ cubicles or boss’s office. It made sense in a world where everything needed to be optimized—where everyone had limited bandwidth and a “ping” sounded somehow less threatening than actual face-to-face communication.
Ping. A friend used that word in conversation recently, and it sent me hurdling back in time. I haven’t used the app in over a year now, not since I went freelance and deleted Slack from all my devices. When I quit my job in January of 2023, it was something I looked forward to. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my Slack channels. They made me laugh throughout the day and kept me up to date with what was happening in the world. It was like being in 100 little group chats. One of them was literally called “The Fun Silo.” But, contrary to the app’s promise of productivity, being on it all day meant that I got absolutely nothing done.
I started to think about all the hours I’d save not using the app. And how I’d no longer get notifications on my phone at all hours of the day and night from people
who type sentences on Slack
like this,
where every beat
is a new message
for emphasis.
The first month, it was pure bliss. Finally, peace! My overlords no longer had a searchable log of all my personal communication and knowledge, thank god. But then my email and iMessage just became their own version of Slack, and I found myself chained to them instead. My need to connect with people never went away; I just found a new avenue for it.
I can’t say I want the app back. That would be like admitting defeat. But there was one moment this winter when I got the flu, and all I wanted more than good health was to be able to set my Slack status to the little emoji with the bandage around its head and thermometer in its mouth. I pined for it! It made me realize that was the best part about Slack: the ability to be online while simultaneously telling everyone to leave you the heck alone. Alright, I do miss that.
